Gerard Depardieu is French

In a move sure to stun millions of Americans into shutting down their businesses and taking solace with close friends and family, Gerard Depardieu, star of Tais-toi!, Sous le soleil de Satan, and My Father the Hero has announced that he is retiring.

Now I know you're thinking "why do I, an American here in America, care about this man with the funny name?" But stop for just a moment and think of all that the French have done for us: they saved our asses during our own "Viva La Révolution"; they sucked us into war with Britain in 1812, allowing us another chance to murder nancy boys; they held up the Nazis with a barrage of croissants long enough for us to come save them in WWII. The least we can do is honor one of their most accomplished actors by eating baguettes, smoking, and generally thinking less of everyone around us.

Source: CNN